It can be difficult for your child to “just say no.” You can help him by telling your child exactly how you expect him to respond if someone offers him drugs:

• Ask questions (“What is it?” “Where did you get it?”)
• Say no firmly.
• Give reasons (“No thanks, I’m not into that.”)
• Suggest other things to do (go to a movie, the mall, or play a game)
• Leave (go home, go to class, join other friends)

Your teen may start to host and attend parties with friends. These parties can be a temptation to experiment with drugs or alcohol. Here are some suggestions to ensure that these parties stay safe and fun for everyone involved:

If you teen is giving the party:

• Plan in advance. Go over party plans with your teen. Encourage your teen to plan some organized group activities or games.
• Keep parties small. 10 to 15 teens for each adult. Make sure at least one adult is present at all times. Askother parents to come over to help you if you need it.
• Set a guest list. The party should be for invited guests only. No “crashers” allowed. This will help avoid the “open party” situation.
• Set a time limit. Set starting and ending times for the party. Check local curfew laws to determine an ending time.
• Set party “rules.” Discuss them with your teen before the party. Rules should include the following:
  • No tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs.
  • No one can leave the party and then return.
  • Lights are left on at all times.
  • Certain rooms of the house are off-limits.
• Know your responsibilities. Remember, you are legally responsible for anything that happens to a minor who has been served alcohol or other drugs in your home. Help your child feel responsible for this as well. Guests who bring tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs to the party should be asked to leave. Be ready to call the parents of anyone who comes to the party intoxicated to make sure they get safely home.
• Be there, but not square. Pick out a spot where you can see what is going on without being in the way. You can also help serve snacks and beverages.

If Your Teen Is Going to a Party:

• Call the host’s parent to verify the party and offer any help. Make sure a parent will be at the party and that tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs will not be allowed.
• Know where your child is going. Have the phone number and address of the party. Ask your teen to call you if the location of the party changes. Be sure to let your child know where you will be during the party.
• Make sure your teen has a way to get home from the party. Make it easy for your child to leave a party by making it clear that he can call at any time for a ride home. Discuss why he might need to make such a call. Remind your teen NEVER to ride home with a driver who has been drinking.
• Be up to greet your child when he comes home. This can be a good way to check the time and talk about the evening.

Despite your best efforts, it may be that your teen has been to parties where there were tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. Maybe he tried them. Maybe after using them your teen did something stupid, something he wouldn’t normally do.

It’s hard for people to stay safe when they aren’t thinking clearly. How can teens keep a clear head and still have fun? Give them the following suggestions for staying safe while having a good time:

• Hang out with people who don’t smoke, drink, or use other drugs.
• Plan not to smoke, drink, or use other drugs. Do whatever it takes to help you remember.
• Use the “buddy system” — team up with a friend. Use a code word to remind each other when it’s time to leave a party.
• If your teen likes to meet new people, suggest trying some of the following activities instead of parties:
  • free concerts
  • dances
  • espresso bars
  • museums
  • extra-curricular “anythings”
  • community centers
  • libraries
  • sports events
  • religious activities
  • film festivals
  • athletic clubs
  • volunteer work

   

• Parents can also help their children choose not to use tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs in these ways:
  • Build your child’s self-esteem with praise and support for decisions. A strong sense of self-worth will help your child to say no to tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs and mean it.
  • Gradually allow your child to make more decisions alone. Making a few mistakes is a normal part of growing up, so try not to be too critical when your child makes a mistake.
  • Listen to what your child says. Pay attention, and be helpful during periods of loneliness or doubt.
  • Offer advice about handling strong emotions and feelings. Help your child cope with emotions by letting her know that feelings will change. Explain that mood swings are not really bad, and they won’t last forever. Model how to control mental pain or tension without the use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs.
  • Plan to discuss a wide variety of topics with your child including alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs and the need for peer-group acceptance.  Young people who don’t know the facts about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs are at greater risk of trying them.
  • Encourage fun and worthwhile outside things to do; avoid turning too much of your child’s leisure time into chores.
  • Be a good role model by avoiding tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs yourself. You’re the best role model for your child. Make a stand against drug issues — your child will listen.

Keep in mind that good communication between parents and children is one of the best ways to prevent drug use. If talking to your child becomes a problem, your pediatrician may provide the key to opening the lines of communication.